Saw an old friend yesterday

[CathyB59]

I saw an old friend last night while shopping. He saw me first - As we started to speak I saw him do a semi double take - I've changed in 4 years.
I gave him a 45 second shot of 'what I am and what this means'..
When I said I was afraid to tell him he simply said - 'you sold me short.'
We spoke briefly , hugged and parted. Walking away I started breathing fast and sobbing - could NOT control it.
It breaks my heart , He was a close male friend. Raised similarly, PWT, we had the same experiences and observations.
Instead of telling him and MAYBE losing friendship, I cowered.
It had been 4 years since I'd seen him. That's like spending a dollar to save a dime.
Thanks for letting me vent

[angela]

:( I'm sorry you had to go through that. We are all here for you to vent anytime.
Angela :D

[joneyhits]

Hi Cathy:

Vent away. I had a simarler experience with my "best" firend whom I had lost contact with, when I left Germany more than a decade ago. I had changed a lot, to say the least.

He also implied I sold him short, but I saw the fear and disgust in his eyes. I had not heard from him until recently. He now wants to make amends with me. It was a painful experience for me, as I imagine it was for you.

I am happy your vent was less than one page. Mine turn into rants of biblical proportions. :oops:

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. It helps us know each other better.

Joney

[Dreamwalking]

Not being TG but being a lesbian I've had a similar experience. It was not by any means a friend that I had sold short, but instead a woman who had very little to do with my life because my parents had decided it was better I stay with my Grandma. This woman was my Granny (Dad's mom). We didn't really get to know each other while I was growing up.

I decided after the fiasco of not talking to my parents and them acting the way they have, to finally tell her because this time it wasn't going away. I told her at our home about two months ago. She made no reaction whatsoever. Delana was sitting on the couch and had this shocked look on her face. When my Granny asked what she expected, Delana said, "I'm sorry I just figured there'd be some kind of reaction."

Now my Granny is hard of hearing too so it was a complete shock when my cousin called and said Granny had asked her (was the only cousin I ever told) if that was what I had meant. Kathy told her yeah and said Granny was completely cool with it. Sometimes it's the ones who are the dearest to us we sell short in fear. Fear is a horrible creature that is created by previous experiences, which in my case was my parents.

Congrats on finally being able to at least tell them. For both of you. I know it's a relief when you start living free. Joney, I believe I saw you at Caribe during Summer, but looking forward to actually meeting you.

Jamie

[Sparky]

this past summer at my High School reunion

old friends where MAD
because I didn't let them know back when they could have used my suport that I to was gay
...they always thought i HAD IT TOGETHER
boy did they have it all wrong.

hind sight is always so clear

[BellaFaith]

Thinking of y'all - It hurts to care so much and yet not care enough for ourselves at the same time.

Thanks for sharing Cathy, love you as you are anyway!
Thank god you're not perfest yet! I wouldn't be able to talk to you!

[CathyB59]

Hi there,
Certainly this is not unique, It happens frequently. After the initial sting, so well put by Ms Joney - it passed completely, and there's peace in my soul.
Your comments and observations bolster my confidence. If I can do the same for you, just ask. 8)

Kirk out.
( my 'boyhood' hero )