Emotional overload. For any T* person

[CathyB59]

One of my animals, Chester Duane. ( 10 years at my house ) has just turned a corner on recovery. He was at death’s door – but I guess death wasn;t ready for a cat like mine. Amen! What a noodge I am. I spent hours each day at the emergency clinic with my top half in his cage. I Spoke and sang to him and comforted him. Reading his charts, asking tons of questions and fretting .

The point of this post?

To the point – the speed/fluidity/ and overwhelming power of emotion scared me a little. The inability to govern emotions is a facet of my course correction. However I have been bawling so much the last 2 days my eyes are swollen up and my hair is knotted from twisting it. I’ve gone to bed late - drained and exhausted and woken up tired. Physically fatigued and sore, like I’ve been beat up.
To feel this powerful grief,worry sadness, and love and hope well up unchecked - is a serious reality check. Of course I ASKED for this. it is my path and I proudly walk it. This is just an admission in the presence of folks I care about – The physical stuff is cake compared to emotional development. To anyone who can manage such intense emotions successfully – congratulations.
I would LOVE to hear perspectives from you.
Cathy

[joneyhits]

Sometimes I just need to cry, becasue it actually akes me feel better. I find it worse to keep it all in. Of course, I have to put on the tough biker chick face on sometimes, but occasionally I have to release it.

Right now you are dealing with the emotion ups and downs of possibly loosing a loved one. Most would cry. I think it part, your transition allows you to feel what you have always had inside. Of course, I don't speak from experience. Since I have always been and always will be what I am, I have now clue what it is like to go from one to the other. I just know I had to allow myself to ecpress the emotions I had.

I give you a virtual hug from me to you.

Joney

[DrLewall]

I don't know how you guys/girls do it. As if there isn't enough on your plate already. I stand and applaude you all!

[CathyB59]

Doc,
Thank you. You are probably more enlightened than 95% of the folks I know. And you're a regular cat. ( Like any of my ES/Arkansas circle can be called regular ).
Just think, most all GG's have live their lives with these powerful forces in full bloom. I am sooo humbled knowing that. My beliefs on strength and poise have been redefined.

[Dreamwalking]

Emotions have never been one of my best aspects. I've learned to keep a lot of it inside which sometimes turns out very badly. I know that in dealing with my Grandma's death, I didn't react like most of the females in my family did. I did cry, but pulled together pretty quickly.

I am in awe of someone who has been taught the male way for part of their life to be able to let go and let the emotions out. I know this is part of the transition and part of who you have always been, but to be able to break the mold of the previous teachings is exhilrating on some levels. Delana would cry as well over the same. Our animals are our children (all five of them).

[CathyB59]

Hurray!
My cat is (almost) well. strength, appetite, demeanor... All coming back.
Appetite was slow to return - but the IV saline ( electrolytes? ) helped him until appetite came back. His voice is almost back to normal.
He's endured 8 days of this:
Oral liquid 2X daily
Amoxycillin drops
Buprenorphine - pain drops - really zonk him out.
Pills 1X daily
Prednisolone - pain and swelling 1X
Appetite stimulator - can;t remember name 1X
shots 1X daily just under the skin
150 CC's of Normosol ( saline type stuff )
Pepcid - anti nausea and stomach upset
Akanikinpotwatomie (antibitiocs) 1X
Anyway - Yesterday he climbed up on the bed and we played the magzine game.
I move my hand under the pages of a magazine or newspaper and he attacks it.
So far so good. This morning as I fed him he talked a bit. clear eyes, strong voice.
Tentative sigh of relief.

[joneyhits]

Wow, that is great to hear.

[CathyB59]

Everyone,

Thanks for your support. It feels good. Chester serenaded me this morning as I got ready. He's pretty much back to normal aside from being a pound or two lighter.